preschools and pantaloons

Newsflash all moms of future preschoolers (honestly, it's probably too late for you) women who plan to have children in the future! 

Apparently it's no longer good enough to buy a carseat and install it before your baby comes, or open a second savings account to stash Uncle Eddie's annual $20 check for baby's college fund, or to even search around for the pediatrician with the most gold stars on google and, bonus points, remember to actually make the scheduled appointments on time. 

Now, in order to be the best parent you can be, and for your child to not end up homeless and disease-ridden, you must begin planning for your child's superior education before they are even fertilized. And if you screw it up, make sure you're ready for your child to be a failure. For life. Or so one stellar New Yorker mama thinks. Apparently her daughter's preschool was too fun. So fun that she probably had no chance of making a high income later in life, which can only happen if you go to an ivy league school, which can only happen if you are rigorously trained as a three-year-old in the ways of Wall Street. So fun that she sued the piece of you-know-what preschool. True story. See for yourself. Nice huh? But for realz lady...how could you let this happen? Everyone knows a $19,000 yearly tuition pretty much screams ghettofabulous-lowtestingscores-wrongsideofthetracks kind of school. Duh.

Anyways, if you wonder what I'm up to this weekend, or the next fifty-two, I'll be stalking local preschools with gold-star-chart in hand, making sure I won't be paying a dime less than $20,000, and writing up a toddler resume that would make Ivanka Trump green with envy.

As my wonderful seminary graduate husband taught me (he's super smart), you never end a sermon/speech/blog without an application.

So go watch Nursery University. And let me know if you want a copy of my awesome gold star chart. 

:)

(I guess I should insert the fact that I have full faith in my baby boy who can already write the letter A. Take THAT, Ivy league!)

And for you (unfortunately that you also refers to me) moms who, as stated above, it's too late for, here's a little something for ya! So funny, so sadly true.

source: super funny blog that is especially good to read after a long hard day

a few of my favorite things

Some of the things Asher says just make my heart smile.

He calls PB&J "belly jelly"

He refers to Hallie as "my baby" or "sweet baby girl." He loves her to pieces. I truly see them being the best of friends.

He calls our piano a "piaNOTE"

He mixes up his pronouns and sometimes calls his little sister a "he" or his dad "her"

He says "wuv you" and I think he means it :)

He channels his inner "Vinnie" by saying things like "Yous got pizza?" or "Wanna give yous kisses"

Here he is channeling that same "Vinnie" as a 2 month old

And then there are the things he does.

Hugs and kisses every time we leave.

He will hide in a hiding place for what seems like forEVER..just waiting for someone to find him. Even when the other person had no clue they were playing hide 'n seek in the first place. :)

He can write the letter "A"

Sometimes I find him sitting in his little chair reading a book. He likes to change up the setting and carries his chair around until he finds his perfect reading nook.

The way he makes his way to our room every morning and sleeps on a pallet of blankets on the floor by our bed. My hubby and I made it a rule that no kids will sleep in our bed, but pallet by the bed...how could we say no?

He sleeps with 2, sometimes 3 flashlights. It used to be for monsters. Now that he's over monsters it's just for fun

No matter how messy it is, he insists on eating toast and sandwiches from the center, so his entire face gets covered with PB and/or jelly.

At 2 years and 9 months old he is finally potty trained. Pee, poops, and all. He speaks in full sentences, and almost everything he says is intelligible. Just a mere 6 months ago he jibbered and jabbered away and we just laughed and nodded, not having a clue what just came out of his month. He's such a grown up now.

He says his prayers all by himself now. Always starts out by saying, "Thank you God for today." As if my heart wasn't already a pile of mush on the floor.

He loves cars, trains, Go Diego Go, Thomas the Train, jello, coloring, and dirt. He can count to 20, knows his whole alphabet, can balance on one foot for 10 seconds, and can make a pancake with play dough (Yes.....I looked up what's expected for Kindergarteners and my crazy teacher self has been prepping my 2 yr old)

Where did my baby go? He's becoming a boy. And as much as I miss the sweet coos and cuddles of a tiny little baby, I am LOVING this little tornado that brings a ridiculous amount of joy to our family.