bringing up boy :)

One of the books I'm reading for triple S, the seminary-wife program I'm in, is called "bringing up Boys." So many things in the book are standing out to me... and I think God is really trying to open my eyes to the answer that's been sitting in front of me for 4 months... Ever since the baby, I've struggled with all the typical working mom/stay at home mom stuff, as well as what my purpose in life is, even wondering what good 4 years in college to get a degree is if I don't put it to good use. I've been asking God to just show me what he wants me to do, and to help me feel successful in being a stay-at-home-mom, and to really show me what is the MOST important thing to focus my life on right now.

I DO work as a teacher from home right now, so that's made my degree useful, obviously, but in the future, and as Asher gets older, life changes and there are just so many things to think about.

I've always known that when I eventually had kids, I wanted to stay at home with them. Even if it meant having a lower standard of living, giving up certain things, etc. But you can't help but wonder, what was the point of going to college and spending 4 years studying to just have kids and stay at home. Well...this book has put a lot of things into perspective. It's kinda like a wake-up call. Duh! If I can put my selfish thoughts aside, and if I can block out all the US culture/women's lib craziness/materialistic mindset stuff, then I can clearly see what I'm supposed to do, at least for now. I'm sure tons of women would argue with me, and yeah, and lot of stuff they would say would probably make sense. What about ME? What about all the money I spent on my education? What about my place in the working world, making a difference, fulfilling my purpose in life, making money, gaining respect, feeling successful, putting my smart brain to good use!..... Yeah, it all sounds really good. But honestly, my baby boy is more important to me, than me. And if I can learn (and accept and not feel guilty!) to really truly enjoy and love being there for my boy, then the less important all that other stuff starts to seem. The work place can be really rewarding, but to a mom, in the end, it's not what really matters. Here are some passages from the book that were really powerful...

"...the trouble we are having with our children is linked directly to routine panic and the increasing isolation and detachment from , their parents. Furthermore, boys typically suffer more from these conditions than do girls. Why? Because boys are more likely to get off-course when they are not guided and supervised carefully. The are inherently more volatile and less stable emotionally. They founder in chaotic, unsupervised, and undisciplined circumstances...Yet nearly half (49%) of all school-age children in America do not come home to a parent in the afternoon--they are either alone or in the care of someone other than Mom or Dad....Today, when the culture is in a tug-of-war with families for control of our children, we can't afford to be casual about their care and training."

"Your task as a mother, in conjunction with your husband, is to build a man out of the raw materials available in this delightful little boy, stone upon stone upon stone...I believe this task must be your highest priority for a period of time. It will not always be required of you. Before you know it, that child at your feet will become a young man who will pack his bags and take his first halting steps into the adult world. Then it will be your turn. By all expectations, you should have decades of health and vigor left to invest in whatever God calls you to do. But for now, there is a higher calling."

Quote by President Clinton's old deputy counsel: "A word about family. You have amply demonstrated that you are achievers willing to work hard, long hours and set aside your personal lives. But it reminds me of that observation that no one was ever heard to say on a deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office. Balance wisely your professional life and your family life. If you are fortunate to have children, your parents will warn you that your children will grow up and be gone before you know it. I can testify that it is true. God only allows us so many opportunities with our children to read a story, go fishing, play catch and say our prayers together. Try not to miss a one of them."