In the spirit of Mother's Day......
It seems like EVERYWHERE you look, someone has an opinion about how a mom should be a mom. Good grief, women sure have strong opinions about such stuff. Me, I do ma own thang. Sure, I have read Dr. Sear's books, skimmed through Babywise, even tackled the one chapter about sleep training in the Mayo Clinic's Complete Book of Pregnancy and Baby's First Year. And perhaps the way I do things has something to do with what I learned from those wise ol' owls. Guess I should admit here that I'm not innocent of having no strong opinions either, ha ha. Sry about the double negative.
Still, I will not label myself an "attachment parenting" (AP) parent. I'm also not a non-AP parent. I'm a CP parent. yep. I like that. The way I am and my personality and my own personal mothering experiences have created my very own "Carol" way of parenting. CP. It's really not that genius of an abbreviation. I'll admit, I spent about 2 minutes trying to come up with something more brilliant, but nothing seemed to represent Carol Parenting more than CP. duh.
If you'd like to be learn more about a CP parent, read ahead:
Breastfeed. Give it a whirl. It may or may not hurt. Just know if it does, it won't last forever. And when a friend asks you what your schedule is or how often your baby nurses, tell them you really have no idea, you don't have a schedule, and that it works!
Do it wherever, whenever you need to! Hooter hider all the way, (minus inside my own house), and when you've got a handle on BF, decide how you feel. I like to think I became a BF expert when Asher was 6 weeks old, and I went on a weekend women's retreat and suddenly had to nurse in a huge room full of women (and men-the husbands were the ones cooking, serving, etc). Talk about trial by fire. Yes it was awful at first- embarrassing, hard, annoying.. when your nursing cover only covers your front and your back is totally exposed because when you lift the front of your shirt up, the back automatically comes up too. Plumber's crack anyone? And yes, I did choose to wear a cover. New mom, room full of strangers, baby who takes a while to latch and not wanting to flash the entire room trumps my womanly right to BF uncovered. But, when your friend asks how it is with the second baby, tell them about how you can whip out a blanket, boob, and go on about eating your cheeseburger and fries all in a matter of seconds. The table across from you never even saw it coming. Yes, it gets easier, and yes, I still do use a cover in public. Yes, I believe it's natural, and yes I'll try to nurse as long as I feel it's necessary, but no, I don't really want to expose myself to the world, even if it's for a good cause. Sometimes I feel like I've reached the point of completely not caring about it, but then I see so and so's grandpa across the way, or my husband's boss, and I'm glad I chose to cover up. Call me shy. Again...just another woman's opinion.
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| Have you been there? I have. Just print these out and have handy in your wallet to share with the offended person next to you. Maybe it'll bring a smile to their wrinkled-y face. |
Try out co-sleeping. Then buy this bassinet. haha! No, really, try it all out and see for yourself what you want to do. I tried CS, not because I wanted to be cool or follow some book, but because I wanted to feel that special closeness to my baby as she gently snores next to me and cuddles sweetly all night. Well in my case it was the opposite. I'm a light sleeper so every move made me jolt, every coo and cry kept me from truly falling asleep. And if you're like me and my husband, we like to SPRAWL. I'm talking, every square inch of our queen size bed is filled with a leg or arm or ample bosom. There just wasn't room for all three of us. CP's, let your baby sleep in this awesome portable bassinet. Haul it around with you as you travel from room to room, it's that easy. Or leave it in the other room. Whatever. When you feel it's almost time to transition to the crib, just move it into the hallway at night. Then scoot it closer and closer to the nursery. Eventually it'll just make sense to move baby into the crib. CP style!
Wear your baby. It's fun! Do it when you feel like it! Try out a sling. Try out a baby katan. Or try a moby wrap. I've tried and used all three. Sometimes I don't feel like toting around baby in the carseat, so I stick her in my sling. Sometimes baby hates the sling, so I tote her around in the carseat. Some days I hold baby a lot, some days I let baby chill out in her awesome portable bassinet. YES, another plug for above bassinet. I don't do it because I believe there is NO other way than baby-wearing. And I don't feel guilty when I let her chill away from my body. She is perfectly loved and cared for.
Yes please get your baby when it cries. But wait just a minute or two to make sure baby really is awake and needy. It took a few "chill out and relax"'s from Chris to really make this a habit. And it makes sense. Especially at night, I used to jump up at the very inkling of a cry, only to find out he was still asleep and just making his own soundtrack to a dream. If it's going on a minute and there's still noise, it's milk time. If not, I give myself a pat on the back for not picking up baby and waking him up when he wasn't planning on waking up at all.
Give yourself a break. If you're stepping into the shower and baby starts crying, take the stinkin' shower! Chances are, you really are stinky, and you really need that shower. Baby will live, I promise. Again, I normally move the bassinet into the bathroom so I can see her and make sure nothing crazy happens like she suddenly learns to run and escapes out the back door, but unless you take 45 minute showers, baby will be fine.
STACK FEED. According to CP, moms (haha..aka me) wake baby up and nurse at 6 pm, 7 pm, 8 pm, 9 pm, and 10:00 pm, and then put baby TO BED. For 7 hours! Yes, my 7 week old is sleeping for about 7 hours straight now. She has been for 3 weeks. (And if your schedule gets off because of community group or date night or grocery run, you just do the same thing, starting at whatever time you get home or get a break). I'm sure stack feeding was invented or discovered before I supposedly invented or discovered it, LOL, but with my first child, I quickly and naively figured out that the more frequent feedings he had in the evening, the longer he slept at night. Genius. Obviously a newborn will still need to eat frequently day and night, but when the newborn-ness starts to fade a bit and they get a few more weeks of life under their belt, stacked feeding really helps lengthen your much-needed nights of sleep.
Get out. Don't let your baby keep you in. This is easier said than done with 2 kids. But really, the first was waaaay harder for me, way more emotional, and it was much more essential that I get out and about and not stay holed up days at a time. Yes, you may get looks from old women who think it's next to heresy that you brought your 4 week old baby to the antique store, and that you're wearing her in a, dare I say it, sling! But you just smile and say she's been to the hospital and survived it, so she's looking forward to being in a place with less sick people.
And that is all, folks. CP in a nutshell. Take it or leave it. Really, leave all expectations and guilt at the door when you bring baby home. Life will become full of trial and error, tears and laughter, and joy as you figure out the perfect way to parent your baby. Just please think twice about showcasing your almost four-year-old boy nursing to the whole world...he may or may NOT appreciate it when he's older and has friends with opinions. Just my opinion..........
Go forth and rock it, mamas!
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