what to do?

Something that has been on my mind for a long time now is daycare vs. stay at home with mom care.

Another thing that's been on my mind is working mom vs. stay-at-home-mom vs. work-at-home mom.

Waaay tooo many things to think about, so I'll make a bullet list.

Working Mom:
*makes more money
*more money means more opportunities for kids
*sometimes doesn't mean more money, just means doing what ya gotta do to get by
*kids have to have childcare, whether it's a nanny or daycare, or maybe stay at home dad

Stay-at-home Mom:
*doesn't make any money
*hubby better make plenty!
*budget may be tight
*kids are raised completely by their own parents
*kids don't get as much interaction with other kids
*kids don't get sick as much
*kids don't get stuck in a daycare with sub-par employees (not all, just saying...I worked at one for 3 yrs!)

Work-at-home Mom:
*makes money
*kids are raised by mom, not someone else
*kids may get bored
*mom may struggle juggling job and kids
*best of both worlds, or worst of both worlds?

My thoughts on the matter-  you gotta do what you gotta do. I know pinterest is full of cute little quotes like "Do what you love, love what you do," and I wish it were that simple!

Right now, I do what I have to do in order to do what I love- stay home with my boy. However, things are starting to get pretty chaotic and it has made me re-think childcare, which in turn makes me re-think everything. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Asher went to a place where he had structured actives during the day, friends to play with, things to learn. Maybe it would be better than having to sit and play by himself for hours while I work from the other room.

Then I get to thinking about all the working moms out there. My obgyn has two little boys. Her hubby doesn't work and he stays at home with them. I am thankful for that, because I love her and would much rather have a woman ob than a man. I also know that before women were accepted in the work place, they were stuck at home, viewed as less valuable then men, and not given equal opportunities to pursue their careers and dreams.

I never was a climb-the-ladder type gal. I thought about going to med school, or being a marine biologist, or picking a career that would potentially make a lot of money. But those thoughts were outweighed by my personality, personal dreams, and overall life-goals. I wanted to be a mom. I don't care to be rich. And I really don't care to work in a stressful environment, always trying to get a promotion or work long hours to keep my job.

Now that I'm a mom, I'm realizing it's WAY harder than I thought. It can get depressing being at home all day, with only a toddler to interact with. It's hard seeing other people out there getting credit for the awesome things they're doing in their workplaces. It's hard staying grounded and not wishing you were the one on the news getting kudos, or traveling to other countries making great sales, and it's hard sitting at a table with 4 doctor friends when you're the only one NOT a doctor. It's easy to start thinking you're not as important, or not making a difference like they are.

What I'm going to choose to focus on, and really the reason I've chosen to do what I do, is that the early stages in life (1 to 4) are so important. Nothing is more valuable to a child than the love of his parents when he's little. In everything I learned in my early child education classes, young children don't really learn how to play with others until they are 3 or 4. So until then, they play by themselves, beside others, and watch others. That CAN be done with me at home, in the other room, without a room full of other kids. And it doesn't mean my kid will be any less socially adept than kids in daycare. I want nothing more than to be the one to raise my kids, especially at the critical early ages, when what they need most is stability and nurturing.

And there ya go. My thoughts on that. Yes, there are days that I tend to feel depressed, but there are things I can do to counter that- leave the house, visit/call a friend, enjoy the freedom of being able to go out and take Asher with me, or go out and leave Asher at home with dad.

For now, I choose to be very thankful for what I have, what I do, and what I contribute to my family. News-worthy or not. :)